Liked Jokes 1 - Like This Joke

By Christopher Robinson
One-liners and short jokes as "LIKED" by a panel of social media judges!
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Liked Jokes 1

I was addicted to Tide Pods.  I’m clean now.
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Two cheese trucks crashed together.  De brie was everywhere.
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I’m so poor that someone “broke in” and left “me” a television, jewelry, cash and a pistol hidden under my mattress.
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“Make love, not war.  If you want to do both, get married.”
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My neighborhood is so tough that the funeral parlor has a layaway plan.
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Why is “non-hyphenated” hyphenated?
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I worked for a “ladder” company. They ask me to step down.
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I painted my ceiling and if it’s not one of the best looking ceilings in the world than it’s definitely up there.
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Never tell a “PMS joke” to a woman. Period!
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My sister was arrested for stealing from the county road department.  I should have known, all the signs were there.
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“Man who drops watch in toilet have shitty time.”
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Q.  Where do “bees” urinate?
A.  The BP station.
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“A woman needs a reason for making love.  A man just needs a place.”
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I used to make small measuring devices. It was a "small scale" operation.
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