Like This Joke/Best LIKED one-liners and short jokes on Facebook. - Like This Joke

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Like This Joke
By Chris Robinson

The BEST "LIKED" jokes on FACEBOOK!*

(Seen worldwide in 107 countries-Google Analytics)



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Why is “non-hyphenated” hyphenated?
Q.  Where do “bees” urinate?
A.  The BP station.
Make love, not war.  If you want to do both, get married.
Two cheese trucks crashed together.  De brie was everywhere.
Never tell a "PMS joke" to a woman. Period!
I was addicted to Tide Pods. I'm clean now.
A woman needs a reason for making love.  A man just needs a place.
I used to make small measuring devices.  It was a "small scale" operation.
I'm so poor that someone "broke in" and left "me" a television, jewelry, cash and a pistol hidden under my mattress.
My neighborhood is so tough that the funeral parlor has a "layaway" plan.
I worked for a "ladder" company. They ask me to step down.
Q. What do termites eat for breakfast?
A. Oakmeal.


Patient: "Doctor, I'm anxious and constipated."
Doctor: "Sir, you must be worried shitless."
Man who drops watch in toilet have shitty time.
I painted my ceiling and if it's not one of the best looking ceilings in the world than it's definitely up there.
Hooker into bondage is strapped for cash.
I used to work as a "trapeze artist." They let me go.
He said his name was "Pavlov." I said, "That name rings a bell."
My wife said talk dirty to her. I said, "bathroom, kitchen, living room, laundry."
A dung beetle walks into a bar. "What'll you have, " the bartender says. "The usual shit," the dung beetle replies.
Mo mamma is so fat, that she wears underwear made by "Fruit of a 100 looms."
My sister was arrested for stealing from the county road department. I should have known, all the signs were there.
Q. What did Einstein discover as he stared at his cousin's boobs?
A. The "Theory of Relative Titty."
I didn't know the meaning of happiness until I got married. By then it was too late.
Why don't they make "B" batteries?


A fool and his money are soon partying.
My boss said I "intimidate" people. I stared at him. He apologized.
Never play poker with a man named Ace or Luckie.
You may be a redneck if your girlfriend "burps" louder than you do.
Q. Why don't boxers have sex before a fight?
A. They don't know each other that well.
Patient: "Doctor, help me. My wife thinks she is an elevator."
Doctor: "Have her drop down to the first floor and see me."
My English literature professor was a drunk. He made the class read "Tequila Mockingbird."
Yo momma is so fat that she has her own zip code.
Q. Where does "virgin wool" come from?
A. Really "ugly sheep."
I paid for my new trampoline with a personal check. It bounced.
Patient: "Doctor, I'm anxious and constipated."
Doctor: "Madam, you must be worried shitless."
1918-Women have no rights.
Today-Women always right.
I checked out the new website for orphans. It didn't have a "home page."
*One-liners and short jokes, old and new, are presented to a diverse demographic audience of FACEBOOK users.  Their replies, non-replies, and comments to each joke are recorded, tabulated, and statistically scored.  Scores are inputted in a scientifically formulated algorithm that rates each joke as Liked or Loved, or neither. Presented here are the best of each.


PAGE ONE
LIKE THIS JOKE
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WARNING
Using the funny short jokes and one-liners from LikeThisJoke.com may make you MORE popular, attractive to the opposite sex, confident, cheerful, lively, suave, approachable, debonair, interesting, likeable, lovable, and sexy. Please use with caution.
NEW SECTION! LOVE THIS JOKE
-The best "LOVED" one-liners and short jokes on FACEBOOK!-
CONTACT

Do you have a one-liner or short joke that you would like to test in the scientific study and see how it rates?  Send it to me and I'll test it. If it's liked or loved, I'll publish it here. Jokes must be clean, nonpolitical, and nonracist.

I invite any suggestions, comments, and/or concerns you would like to address. Complete the message box below and send.

Sincerely,
Christoper Robinson
Creator



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