Liked Jokes 14 - Like This Joke

By Christopher Robinson
One-liners and short jokes as "LIKED" by a panel of social media judges!
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Liked Jokes 14 (NEW!)

Q.  Where does “virgin wool” come from?
A.  Really “ugly sheep.”
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Yo momma is so fat that she has her own zip code.
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I paid for my new trampoline with a personal check.  It bounced.
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My buddies and I formed a band called “999 Megabytes.”  
We’re still looking for our first gig.
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Q.  Why don’t boxers have sex before a fight?
A.  They don’t know each other that well.
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Patient:  “Doctor, help me.  My wife thinks she is an elevator.”
Doctor:  “Have her drop down to the first floor and see me.”
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I checked out the new website for orphans.  It didn’t have a “home page.”
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Patient: “Doctor, I’m anxious and constipated.”
Doctor: “Sir, you must be worried shitless.”
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“Knock Knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“The doorbell repairman.”
“Oh.”
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“Don’t play hard to get if your face is hard to want.”
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1918 - Women have no rights.
Today - Women always right.
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I used to work for the Lipton Tea Company. I was fired for taking a coffee break.
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My ex-wife divorced me for gambling.  Two-to-one I can win her back.
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I requested a “wake-up call” at the hotel.  The next morning someone called and said, “Stop wasting your life.  Follow your dreams.”
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