Liked Jokes 4 - Like This Joke

By Christopher Robinson
One-liners and short jokes as "LIKED" by a panel of social media judges!
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Liked Jokes 4

Is the “speed of light” the same as the “speed of dark?”
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“Money doesn’t buy happiness,” but it will buy you a good time in Vegas.  Have you ever seen a sad person in a casino?
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Patient:  “Doctor, I feel like I have the weight of the whole world on my shoulders.”
Doctor:   “Here, put this Zippo in your pocket instead.  It’s a little lighter.”
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I got “dead batteries” at the thrift store.  They were “free of charge.”
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A penguin walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “Have you seen my brother?  The bartender says, “I don’t know.  What does he look like?”
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“Free puppets.  No strings attached.”
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You may be a redneck if you think “safe sex” means locking your car doors.
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Q.  Why was there a “duck” at the Betty Ford Clinic?
A.  Because he was a “quack addict.”
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I took my “time machine” to the garage for a checkup tomorrow and picked it up today.
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I said “NO” to alcohol.  It didn’t listen.
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I’m mentally constipated.  I haven’t given a crap for several days now.
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My new “thesaurus” is terrible. It’s also terrible.
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I used to be a mechanic at a “muffler shop.”  The work was exhausting.
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It was so hot that I saw a Brink’s truck with a screen door.
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