Liked Jokes 5 - Like This Joke

By Christopher Robinson
One-liners and short jokes as "LIKED" by a panel of social media judges!
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Liked Jokes 5

“Talk is cheap until the moment you hire a lawyer.”
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Q. Did you hear about the mummy that went on a vacation?
A. He wanted to relax and unwind.
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When bi-sexuals are missing, do they put their pictures on cartons of “Half and Half?”
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“A man with a hole in the bottom of his shoe is down to earth.”
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"Never go to bed mad… stay up and fight."
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Captain Hook died from a severe case of jock itch.
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I’m so poor that I robbed Peter, then Paul.
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Q.  Why do they call it “PMS?”
A.  Because “Stark Raving Mad” is taken.
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A small bucket walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, buddy, have a shot of whiskey on me. You look like you’re a little pale.”
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My wife left me because of my insecurity. No wait, she just went to get the mail.
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I went to the zoo and saw a loaf of bread in a cage.  The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity.
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Q.  Did you hear the “sidewalk” joke?
A. It’s all over town.
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Q.  Did you hear the joke about the leech?
A.  It sucked.
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Growing up, I was so skinny that I could turn sideways and disappear.
Even David Copperfield offered me work.
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